ASK DAVID & ROZ

Dear David and Roz,
"I go to a gym after work several days a week and there's a woman who has set up a routine for me and keeps tabs on me while I'm working out. Maybe I'm imagining something here but sometimes when she touches me to guide me I feel like she's lingering longer than she should and I get a familiar tingle. Is she telling me something do you think? I'm not married and I'm pretty sure she isnt and so it would be all right with me if something develops, but she doesn't show anything other than that, only business as usual. Am I crazy or what? I'm 60 but very fit, [and I mean very]. She's half that."
- CRAZY OR WHAT

ROZ SAYS: Dear Crazy or What, They say there's no fool like an old fool. Unless you are especially special and have drunk from the fountain of youth I'd say an older guy like you shouldn't be thinking about romantic intentions with a young woman of 30.I think its your imagination if that's what you're asking me and you'll get no go ahead from this corner! There are lots of beautiful women out there of a suitable age for you. And you'll be able to talk to them too!

DAVID SAYS: Keep an open mind and your wits about you because this is a tricky call. I would engage her and ask her about herself. Are you a full time trainer…? Do have many clients? Do your work in other clubs? If she's interested, attracted or at least curious she will definitely respond and open-up. She will probably tell you a capsulated version of her life story such as what role the personal training plays in her life. Perhaps she has a private practice or is studying part time to be a massage therapist or is struggling to complete her PHD in Sports Medicine. She may even share with you her passions for favorite travel destinations, charity, hobbies, etc. Whatever, you have a wide-open field in front of you. If a good reciprocal conversation develops you will both feel it. Next discuss your schedules to see when they coincide at the gym. Use your head and share with her a local favorite place like a great juice bar, coffee shop, healthy restaurant or wine bar and ask her if she would meet or accompany you one day after a great workout? If she's interested you'll know. It's always going to be an up-hill climb with the age differential so be satisfied with whatever you may glean or construct.

Dear David and Roz,
"My husband left me for his secretary who I realize now was more than a secretary to him for years on end. I never guessed anything was going on, he was always good to me, until the day at breakfast when he put a note on the table where I sit saying he wanted a divorce. I thought it was a joke but it wasn't. Now I'm alone, the children are gone, living in another part of the country, but that's something else anyway. I need a companion but although I am trying with you on line to meet somebody I feel timid in being "out there" after so many years married and I don't know how to present myself when somebody responds to me. I guess I have no confidence, but I'm not bad looking."
- A DISCOURAGED AND DEPRESSED 58

ROZ SAYS: Dear Discouraged, Well, you had a bad break, but buck-up! Lots of women get great second husbands. Know that you have good qualities and will be appreciated by some wonderful guy looking for somebody exactly like you! Put your best foot forward when someone knocks on your door and don't let any nervousness creep in. Remember he's probably just as apprehensive as you are if he's out there too. Something could have happened to him like what happened to you. You just might be his dream girl. So smile a big smile and make your moves. There will be good times ahead if you do that. Good luck.

DAVID SAYS: Naturally, it all starts on the inside, dump that luggage, the disillusionment and anger. Life is a constant struggle. Adversity often is a breeding ground for our greatest achievements. So let's get out of the past. Look inward first, be centered, find and feel your strengths. Do something special for yourself everyday such as workout, go to the museum, learn a new skill and definitely take a good look at yourself inside and now outward as well and take inventory. It's time to shine the apple. Splurge and seek out a professional to expedite the process. Whether it's clothes, hair, physique, new skills learned or interests explored. You're on the mend and so is your self esteem. Keep nourishing your mind, body and spirit every day. Soon your light will shine signaling to all that you are ready, willing and excited about setting out to find that next great love of your life. Cheers!