ASK DAVID & ROZ
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This is turning out to be quite fun!
You keep sending questions and we'll keep answering them for you!
Here's a little background information for you on our two advisors.
David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
They will be your sounding board.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you want their opinions on.
So start now and let us hear from you!
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm 56 and have money. I ran a business for many years and now after selling it I'm playing. I realize how lucky I am to be able to do that and so I do charity work too as a volunteer. I met a woman at the church where I volunteer who I really like and I've been seeing her for a while. We do nice things together movies, theater, dinners. We play cards and she doesn't mind if I go out with the boys now and then. I'm a bachelor and I'm used to that. Now suddenly another woman has come along who intrigues me. I can't help it. I'm attracted to her. And they know each other. She's also a volunteer at the church. I feel like I'm in the soup here. What should I do? I don't want to hurt anybody. I haven't made any commitment but I feel like a dirty dog deep down."
- REALLY NICE GUY
ROZ SAYS:
Dear RNG: Only you know what you really want. It sounds to me like the first woman has become a friend to you, almost buddies. You're both unattached and it's agreeable to have somebody nice to be with and do things with. But I don't hear love. So if that's the way it is and the second woman does this for you and you can see her as a romantic life partner then its the wrong thing to lead the first one on if your interest in her might not be long term. So you have to search your heart, and I know that being the really nice guy you are you will know where your future truly lies. And it will all be OK. Depend on that.
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DAVID SAYS:
"Duck Soup" I'd call it! My advice from one bachelor to another is you know what's correct and you have unlimited opportunities to meet women in almost every social setting. I should not have to remind you that whenever you meet several women together or when you are part of a social group with long time and permanent members within your community there is a social consciousness and decorum that is implied and understood by the group, which includes respect for each of the members. By this point in your bachelorhood you should know implicitly to always make the right decision the first time around. I would forget about the latest object of your desire the intriguing lady, now you must be careful not to disrupt the trusting environment within the church group. If you jump now it points to your insensitivity to towards the feelings of someone you have respected in the past and whose company you have enjoyed. Your reputation and integrity is at stake here within the group. I would meet others in a different venue. If you feel you cannot live without further exploring this opportunity your best bet is to ease out of the intensity of the time spent with your current activities partner. Perhaps in several months you could start up a romance with the intriguing lady however, for now my advice is the needs of the group must outweigh your immediate and latest infatuation.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'd have never agreed to do this but I recently moved here and am lonesome. I am interested in a gentleman but do not know if he is married. I saw him a few times while I was in the facility he works at. How do I go about meeting/finding out about him? I have no reason to go into the facility but it is public."
- G IN ASHEVILLE
ROZ SAYS:
Dear G: You don't say what the facility is or what the gentleman who attracts you does there, but if you were there once for some reason and it's public you could go there again. The trick here I believe is to be warm and outgoing and chatty, engage him in a pleasant conversation. You could start with making a comment about something or asking a question. The point being to getting around to something like "Your wife must be awfully proud of you doing such an important job here (etc.)", and in a flash you'll know because he would respond with "Oh I'm not married anymore" or he might say "I would hope she is!" in which case you'd have to paddle your canoe elsewhere! But do make the move because if you don't try you can't succeed. I hope it works out for you.
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DAVID SAYS:
Well there are many unanswered questions including his marriage status, dating preferences, etc also, what is the nature of this public place where you see him? Your best bet would be to strike up a conversation and ask for his assistance. You could go with an old standby like you look familiar or didn't we meet at the _________? Be direct and introduce yourself, which opens the doors for a continuing and expanding conversation each successive time you meet. I have to admit it seems like this is a bit unrealistic so I would expand my horizons and focus on meeting men in situations where some of the questions are already answered like SDE. Good luck you never know until you shake things up.
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