Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I have really got a problem! And I have nobody to talk to about it. I really need help. Here goes: I am happily married to a beautiful younger woman. She's 58 and I'm 68, but we both look good. Buff, as the kids say. My mother in law lives with us. The other day she and I were in the house alone together and I don't know what got into her, but suddenly she came over to me, pushed me against the wall and planted a smoochy kiss right on my mouth! At the same time she put her hand on my chest, under my shirt, and said 'I wish you weren't married to my daughter because I really could go for you!". I told her I had to go, I had an appointment and I got away fast. Now, what do I do? For gosh sakes, she's 79! and my mother in law and I love my wife and I'm going crazy! I can't look her in the face! Help!"
- Manny {not my real name}
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Manny {or whatever your name really is},
In my opinion there is only one thing to do. You have to sit your mom in law down and say to her something like you treasure her as a mother in law, that you love her daughter and that you both have to forget that the incident ever happened, but that if you weren't madly in love with her daughter you could have had a different reaction{so she wouldn't feel she embarrassed herself by being rejected! } and tell her that a beautiful woman such as she who looks so much younger than her years should find a great guy to have happy times with, and send her to senior dating exchange! We won't snitch!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear AKA Manny,
On the bright side, they say like mother like daughter so aren’t you a lucky man when you consider the possibilities of your future romantic life. That “buff” self described physical condition of you and your bride will hopefully have its own positive momentum of companionship and collaboration far into the future.
Now, as far as your mother in law. I would find a convenient time to walk and talk with her in an environment removed from the household. Your home should be a sacred safe place for all with clear lines of division for areas of both privacy and family interaction. I am sure she realizes she has overstepped her bounds and probably feels as uncomfortable about it as you do which means it is important to clear the air. I would keep your initial discussion with her light with a dose of humor but assertive in a clear discussion about what’s next? Hopefully, the end result will be to confirm that what has occurred once can never happen again. Next I would explore solutions that address her needs and encourage her to shower her rare gift of hormones and romantic fantasies to a grateful recipient. Of course, I would recommend pointing and assisting her with practical ways to find an appropriate romantic interest through activity groups or connecting with reputable dating services such as Senior Dating Exchange. If it reoccurs then unfortunately you may have to take a broader approach and consider informing your wife about your mother in laws eccentric behavior. It may signal it is time to examine her mental competency.
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Dear David and Roz,
"How do I get an older man who I am interested in to understand that his come on strong technique is not working with me and if he used a different technique we might be able to have a more positive result."
- Nancy in Alabama
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Nancy in Alabama,
Since I don't know what his 'come-on-strong' technique consists of I can only guess. Thinking along those lines I'd say to him with your sweetest smile and holding his hand "Lookee, honey babe, I really like you - a lot! But taking it slow makes everything better and more exciting as we go along getting to know each other. The anticipation enhances the prize! So let's go dancing, a nice s l o w dance, warm and huggy for now. It’ll be fun, I promise!" and see if he comes around your way. Sometimes a man just needs a little direction. There was a hit song, something about 'a slow hand’. Maybe you ought to get it and play it for him! I’m with you, kid.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Nancy in Alabama,
I would take a different approach and sweep him off his feet. Take the high ground and find an activity that you enjoy, he would appreciate and invite him as your guest. It could be a spring picnic, a local concert, a trip to the museum, the zoo or any activity of discovery. The important focus is to let him know that you have interests that you would like to share with a companion outside the home and do not want a one dimensional relationship. Find things you enjoy doing together and everything will fall together at a more comfortable time for you. By inviting him you are taking some control in a positive and entertaining way in subtly defining your expectations for a possible future romantic relationship. Good luck.
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