Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I have a problem I can't tell any of my friends and you're probably going to think this is ridiculous but I was walking down the street in a resort town and coming towards me was a famous movie star I once met briefly at a charity event {oh, all right I'll tell you, it was Steve Martin} and as we got closer to each other it looked like he was going to talk to me at which point I had a shy attack and quickly crossed the street to avoid him. Now I can’t get it out of my mind that he wanted to talk to me, that he'd remembered me and I lost the opportunity to maybe start a bit of a friendship. I always thought he was so attractive but wouldn't be interested in an older woman in her late fifties like me. I heard he might be making an appearance at another charity event soon. Should I go to it and try to pick up the thread or am I a Crazy Lady? Thanks."
- Crazy Lady
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Crazy Lady:
It sounds to me like you have too much time on your hands and should get yourself involved in some good works so you aren't fantasizing about someone you met briefly to the extent you are. I’m not saying you shouldn't go to the charity event, but it should be because you are volunteering and you are giving your time and money to help others less fortunate. If he sees you there again and really has an interest in you, he’s a big boy and will know how to move things along. But don't dwell on this or you'll be disappointed and ruin the evening as well if it really is all in your head. Concentrate on someone more accessible, and perhaps a wonderful relationship with that person will develop. Good luck.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Crazy Lady,
Absolutely Attend! I once had a girlfriend whose exploits rivaled those of some of the best of Lucy Ricardo, she even had a cat named of course little Ricky. After we broke up my x sent a note to an extremely popular comic movie star who she found out through a friend was staying in the Waldorf. He responded, they met and dated. I even spoke with him on the phone. Now she is a model and went to Actor’s Studio but I believe the point is you make your own breaks. I would definitely attend the charity bring your confidence, humor and focus on your interest in having a memorable conversation with Steve. Don’t think too much about it, relax and begin with a sparkling lead in and take it from there. You might have a calling card (not a business card) handy. If your personal card is properly presented I’ll bet you will get a call back.
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Dear David and Roz,
"My ex-wife and I are seeing each other again after not speaking for more than ten years and I feel the same spark now that I did when I first met her all those long years ago and thought she was the greatest thing to come along since sliced bread. The problem is she married again {I didn't} and she's still married to her new husband but he travels most of the time and she's left alone. No kids. We didn't have any either. She called me out of the blue one day ostensibly for business advice. I’m an investment guy and she knows I know what I'm doing. That’s how it started up again. I feel guilty, but I do want to keep seeing her. I’m not sure if it’s me or my money advice she really wants but either way what about this guy she's married to? It’s not right. Please tell me what your take is on this. Appreciate."
- All Mixed Up
ROZ SAYS:
Dear All Mixed Up:
If I were you I Wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot pole at this point unless in your meetings with her it’s absolutely clear its investment advice she wants, and even so, that you can handle it, given your continuing feelings for her. Only you know that. But if its romantic and you think you're both getting in deep you have to cut it off before everybody gets hurt. Tell her in a nice way that two wrongs don't make a right, and that if there is something in the future for the two of you again it has to be only if she's a free agent of her own accord, and then put space and time between you. Certainly it can happen that people who loved each other once can again and maybe that the way it will go for you as a couple but only time will tell if you belong together. But then too it may be she really is only interested in investment advice!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear All Mixed Up,
Some people fall in love for life and sometimes forces pull them apart or they simply outgrow each other. It seems you are perplexed and intrigued and she is just a bit lonely which makes it easier for her to remember the strengths of your friendship, the original foundations for your attraction and maybe she is curious about more than stocks. So you both apparently have a mutual interest and continuing attraction to each other but she has taken new vows with a new man. So going ahead in any way is taboo. There is a one in a million possible exception which I would acknowledge. It starts when you look deep into your heart and find she is still there shining bright and she confirms the same feelings to you. In this situation both individuals are euphoric and compelled to reinforce their feelings to each other with words like you are the best ever… I have missed you… You are my best friend, ETC. If you are both in agreement the next steps become elemental. The litmus test is that there is a line between two people and once it is crossed no matter if it is never crossed again there is always the potential. So think clearly about what were the causes of your breakup and the restraining forces of your marriage? Have the problems which caused your divorce been corrected and the wounds healed? If you say unequivocally yes, yes, yes then take a long walk, followed by a cold shower, then take a break and think it over so there can be no doubt about the consequences of your actions. If you both agree that you can not live without each other then make a plan, make a commitment and immediately communicate clearly to the husband. It’s now or never. However, under no circumstances should you continue on this ambiguous and dangerous path for another moment, it is dishonest and unfair to all parties and there is no moral context to justify this action. Move on.
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