Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I know this is going to sound crazy but I have a hair problem. The man I've been with for the past 9 years {and we're supposed to get married} likes my hair very short- and I mean short! Like very short- up to my ears! I hate it- I’ve done it that way many times but it depresses me so and I can't wait for it to grow back. It makes me feel like an old lady. I’m just over 60 and so is he. I'm at my wits end- we fight s over it. He’s very controlling and I don't mind it in other things but I'm at the point of drawing the line at the hair. We could break up over this. Isn’t that ridiculous? Help!"
- Help
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Help,
I've had a situation something like that myself. It' s almost like sometimes you have to just grin and bear it. I think the answer is it depends on if you love him enough to stick with him no matter what- nobody is perfect- and he feels the same way about you, it’s time to get married. Like put up or shut up! And if there are wedding bells, know you look good in very, very short hair - to him! And at that point it's what really counts. For the love of it!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Help,
It’s always good to please your potential mate. It is also important to maintain the unique characteristics of your personality that others can recognize a mile away. Keep your relationship in balance. Why not trade off a one-time restyling for something he has to agree to temporarily change. If he has hair start there or target some other unwelcome irritating physical trait or habit such as extra pounds, snoring, teeth, feet or helping with the dishes. Try it for 60 days and then renegotiate. What do you have to loose? More importantly look at what you have to gain – a possibly of improved appearance or modified behavior. If he doesn’t want to negotiate and continues on his path of one-way control then I would see this as a clarifying moment & move on or recognize & accept the fact that you are a happy submissive. It is my experience that he might appreciate the appeal of a tuff series of negotiations. It is a great opportunity for you to reinstate the value of you the individual & rebalance your relationship. Don’t give it away.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm a 65-year-old man, good-looking they tell me, like not a day over 50. I met a lady recently I like a lot- I think in her late 50's,a widow. I know she’d like to get serious, we do have fun together, and we’re on the same wavelength. But I've never been married, just long relationships, and I'd like to have a kid. I keep thinking I should marry a younger woman who can do that. I know they're attracted to me and it’s not just for my money {although I have that too}. My phone rings off the hook. But what worries me is that I'm afraid I really can't relate to a woman 30.years younger than I am whose interests are so different from mine and that it wouldn't work in the long run- and at my age how really long is another matter. So what do I do? I really want a kid. Any ideas? I guess I'm just an older guy with the usual age hang-ups."
- Older Guy
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Older Guy,
You really belong with this 50ish lady and fact is you know it. The dream of youth comes to us all as time goes by, but you are right. to recognize you and a 30 year old won't work. Why don't you and your lady talk about a future perhaps adopting a needy child that will give you all the fulfillment that would bring and enjoy a happy life together as long as you have the wherewithal to do it. You will be doing something wonderful. You could also be a Big Brother and be like a father to many. I’ll bet you'd enjoy that too. Try.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Older Guy,
It sounds like you are shopping for a new bathing suit or planning a vacation & not a life style change full of moral responsibilities. First, if you are seriously considering this as an option you must be honest with your current woman. You might also consider other options such as marrying someone in your dating age group who might want to adopt. Too bad you were not born a woman, and then you could simply take out your fat checkbook, go to a sperm bank & make your choices. Not only could you plan the timing of your child’s birth but his/her design. In the process you could sort through the variable payments schedule for various traits provided by the male. Interested in a genius and high-achiever or just the basics preferences of eye color, hair color, ethnic origin, education, occupation, religion, ancestry, height, weight, blood type, health, etc. ? Since you are a man this kind of control & selection are not easily arranged. Having a child, even if you have addressed a working plan for providing the love and long-term nurturing a child deserves until adulthood in the event you are unable to provide it still will place huge compromises at your feet & at those of your descendant. How in the world are you going to meet the right young mother, fall in love & conceive a child unless it is predicated on an economic symbiotic commercial relationship? Is this your thought? Good luck with your dream no matter how you plan to achieve it.
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