Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I am a divorced 60ish guy with an ex-wife who is being a pain in the neck. I met recently a very nice lady that I've been taking out. We have been getting along really well. She’s what they used to call a spinster lady, I think she's about 55.She didn't say, I didn't ask. Never been married, only engaged years and years ago ,a story. But I like her. Here’s the problem. My ex-wife being what she is, and the reason, I divorced her (the B word) has been calling this lady. I don't know how she got the number. She's been telling her all kinds of stuff about me, mostly untrue, mostly exaggerated, some true, but who's perfect- right? Anyway, she’s messing things up. I asked her to stop and she said something unprintable. What do I do? This is my life she's ruining - again! I need some advice fast. My new lady friend wants to quit me."
- Desperate
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Desperate,
Don't be like you said, nobody’s perfect, so I think you should just come clean to your new lady. Tell her what's true, what isn't and that nobody's perfect and would she give you a chance to prove you're going to try to be as perfect as you can be! Turn on the charm, but be sincere. Make it show. What your ex-wife is doing isn't cricket but what can you do? Nothing really. Just grin and bear it. She’ll quit when somebody else comes into her life. Divorces are like that sometimes. Not all amicable like Bruce Willis, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! I hope it all works out for you, as you want it to be. Best to you. You sound like a nice guy and some woman is lucky!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Desperate,
Not to worry. It’s perfect. It’s a good test wrapped in an opportunity to strengthen the foundations of your growing relationship. The fact that the new woman has confided in you is terrific. Underneath it seems she wants to trust you and grow the relationship but needs your reassurance. So give her the reasons to believe in you, go on the offensive to clarify the specifics of the accusations & defend your positions. At same time ask her to take steps to block your ex wife’s phone no., email communications, etc. & to place your ex-wife on verbal notice that she is not interested, considers these calls unwanted & an intrusion on her privacy. If she really wants you she will take these prudent steps to close the door on your ex-wife & if she does not you can be certain there will be further problems down road for the potentiality of your relationship. Please remember, that it would be unwise to give an ultimatum or tip your hand, just wait and see how she responds. The ball is in her court, the criteria for your evaluation are black & white. It’s a tremendous opportunity for her to win your heart & confidence forever.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm in my mid sixties, have always been thought of as pretty. I’m slim, I’m smart, I’m educated, and I'm depressed- very depressed. My husband died, my children are grownup and living in Europe, I’m alone and go nowhere and do nothing. I talk on the phone a lot to my women friends who are much in the same boat, except one of them is married. Her husband though' is traveling all the time on business, so she might as well be single because he almost never comes home. I’ve met a few men who have come along I thought might be ok but when they start making comments on my jewelry (real) and my apartment (big) I realize its not me they're after. I still want to have some good times in my life before I get too old for it to matter. What do you suggest?"
- Marie from Newport and New York
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Marie,
I guess I can only say to hang in there. Don’t give up. Remember persistence pays off! Check out some of the guys we have here on line and keep going like the Eveready Bunny till you connect with The One! I’m sure it will happen eventually if you give it the old college try. Meanwhile keep up your spirits. You’ve got to get all the negativity out of your system. Think positively! And project yourself so that when the right one does come along he'll see you as the beautiful package of his wildest dreams come true! Good luck.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Marie,
Life is full of compromises & most things are possible. You must be vulnerable to get the highs and lows and in the "right place" in many ways. So I would recommend spreading your net out on various waters for a sampling and see what you find, know your species and the difference between a kingfish, flounder or stingray. You must be clear about the inherent dangers of touching or consuming most species. If you catch a bit of a scoundrel, who is OK, you must identify, recognize the imperfections & then set rules & limitations or tag and release. You can’t change the stripes on a tiger shark so don’t try. A critical eye will enable you to keep your lines in the water while safeguarding your lifestyle, the advantages & future opportunities that Newport, Manhattan or wherever you may be offer. All this will flow while taking the lead, with your network of female friends, maintaining your optimism and focus on personal goals and improving your chances to find someone really special. Go fish!
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