Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm a 65-year-old guy with a girl friend I dearly love who's in her fifties. The problem I'm having lately is that because of the economic turndown I've come into some real financial difficulties and this lady is extravagant. I’ve always catered to her whims but she's been after a designer handbag, says she wants it, wants it, wants it, has to have it, on and on. Its $4500.I has been generous in the past but right now I can't handle this. I’m afraid I'll lose her. I guess I've always known it's not me but the money she cares about that's always flowed so freely but that's all right with me when I have it. I enjoy her, and what's money for anyway, right? I guess I’m a little crazy but I've even thought of borrowing the money to get the thing for her. What do you say?"
- In a dilemma
ROZ SAYS:
Dear In a dilemma,
I think you are a little crazy. I think you should sit the lady down and tell her that in these troubled economic times everybody is feeling the pinch and you are too, but better days will come and although you can't get this bag for her now you'll get her something else more in keeping with what you can afford to show your heart is in the right place and let her know in an oblique way that where else is she going to go to do better than you! I think she' all get the message .I say this only because you say if you have it you spend it, so good luck to you.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear In a dilemma,
I don’t know about you but when I sense the potentiality of the encroachment of circumstances that could lead to financial crisis the romantic aspects of my relationship usually take a backseat to more immediate, practical and professional related matters . This holding pattern is a normal physiological behavior of self-preservation. Perhaps, if your loved one isn’t sympatric & intuitively tuned in to the danger at hand then she is either too self-involved or you have failed to be honest with her. Unfortunately, as embarrassing as it may seem to you, intimacy sometimes involves economic reality that should be honestly communicated. I would stay optimistic but let her know that at least temporarily you will have to make some budgetary changes that hopefully will have a positive impact on your long-term financial security. If you are unable to communicate and work through this perhaps you need professional counseling. Good luck with clear communications.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm a roly-poly woman and I like myself that way. I have a man in my life for seven years now who is a beanpole. We’ve always been happy together, but lately he's been going to a gym to ' build himself up’ he says. Some woman in his office got him into it. Now he keeps after me to go on a diet, to lose weight, to look 'better’. I’m pretty sure she’s after him, although I don't know why, he has no money and he's not great to look at, although he has a lot of fun about him for an old guy. I don't want to change, but I’m thinking I have to do something. It’s spoiling our easygoing relationship. What do you think I should do?"
- Marie from Newport and New York
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Roly-Poly Woman,
I think you had better sign up for the gym right away. After all, you’ve got to protect your position. It sounds to me like he may not even realize like you do what she is up to. So you go and’ work out' a little and show him you're trying. Meantime you're showing her that he belongs to you, and hands off. You might even as a couple be her 'friend ' and invite her to dinner on a blind date with some guy. And you might even like going to the gym!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear "Going in Different Directions",
First you are blessed that your man is encouraging you to improve the quality of your life. It can only add vigor to your self-esteem and expand the possibilities of your relationship. I would not concern yourself with jealousy but take full advantage of growing closer through the process of helping each other establish and achieve practical, obtainable individual and common goals that will improve each other’s wellbeing. Change your attitude, immerse yourself in this adventure. Perhaps you have friends who will want to join in or if it is within your budget get a trainer and or a nutritionist. We all only have so many minutes so make a plan, get out there and work wisely to improve the quality of your time on the planet. What a great opportunity for both of you! Don’t delay, adapt and move ahead or risk being left behind.
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