Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I am a 60 year old retired man with a lady friend of 59 who thinks she's 22. My problem is that although I enjoy going out evenings for dinner and sometimes dancing, she loves to dress up like a teenager and it embarrasses me. I'm not saying she can't handle it, somehow she can pull off wearing a mini skirt and strapless top, long earrings and platform sandals because she's small and has a good figure, but I feel people are looking at us funny. When I ask her to dress a little more conservatively she laughs and says I'm an old codger and I should get with it. And she wants to go to the places the kids go. So what do I do, wear tight jeans and a too short one-button jacket like Peewee Herman? I'd feel ridiculous. Can't do it. I need help. I'm a nice guy, trying."
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Trying, Maybe there's something to what she's doing. Think about it. She's trying to live a little. Maybe it's a bit misplaced, unusual for her age but if she can pull it off why not have a little fun and go with it. Maybe there's a happy medium, she can tone it down some, like wear the skirt a bit longer, and you can spruce it up a bit. Maybe throw a scarf around your neck for a bit of dash, and there's nothing wrong with jeans these days. Everybody's wearing them Just wear a nice blazer. I think you should be glad there's that kind of life in the old girl. Remember 70 is the new 40!Best of luck. Have fun. Dance away!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Trying, No one is perfect. It's too bad she has a faulty self-image regulator and an inaccurate understanding of how she is perceived by most others including you. I don't think you will be able to encourage her to adapt to a new way of dressing supported by a smart contemporary makeover even if you are prepared to pay for it.
My advice is unless you are totally embarrassed and dysfunctional when in public together just try to enjoy the positive attributes of her personality that originally attracted you to her. If you 're lucky, the negatives of her fashion imagination for the public eye may turnout to be a plus in what she chooses to wear for you behind closed doors at home. The only concern is the occasional run-ins that will occur with clients, colleagues & neighbors when you least expect them, that start well, turn awkward and boomerang into something with residual damage to your personal / professional image. If this should ever occur just duck and keep your sense of humor. What's living without some risk taking? Think of the rewards – including the enjoyment of experiencing the unexpected priceless, expressions on all those faces that her sense of style will continue to evoke.
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Dear David and Roz,
"My girl friend and I are both single. I'm divorced .She's never been married. Just a lot of long-term relationships but none now. We're in our late 50's but look younger. We live in a place where there is a part of town that is very lively, filled with art galleries, bars, restaurants, chic little shops where my friend has made a habit of going. She has met some interesting people, one, an artist, who she particularly likes she has struck up sort of an odd relationship with. They hang out together. He's about 40 and to me obviously gay. She says he's bi and so what! I think she's going to get hurt. It's probably none of my business but I feel like I should do something, say something. But what? I like him, he's nice. But I think he'll head off with some guy and leave her flat and think nothing of it because I don't think he's taking their friendship seriously like she is. What do you think?"
- Suzie
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Suzie, Your friend is right. Try. You know what they say - "Try it, you might like it"! As for getting your wife back, sometimes a woman who moves in with a woman like that can change back again. I'd say there's hope. Think Anne Heche (the movie star). I f you don't know who she is, look it up on the Internet. If you don't have a computer ask your 8-year-old grandkid to help you. Then when you get a chance to talk to your wife, and maybe invite her out for a drink or something, have a heart-to-heart and find out what she meant about being tired of the male touch and then once you know what the problem really is hopefully you can fix it. Best of luck to you.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Suzie, I think this is way too sticky to discuss at all unless she asks for your opinion, and then give her your best advice. I am sure they are both enjoying the relationship. The benefits are validating the future direction and shape of its development. So for now just watch and learn. If she has less time for you now find something / someone new and interesting to keep your life evolving.
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