Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"So here it is the New Year and I'm not happy. I'm reflecting, yes, I spent New Years Eve with the man in my life with his family and extended family and it should have been cozy but when they were playing the music where they cleared the living room so everybody could dance (and they were) and I wanted to dance too he said 'I only dance with my niece' and so he did and he didn't dance with me all night long! It hurt me, I tried to not let it ruin the evening but you can imagine how I felt. He's done other things like this. We've been together many years, always talking about getting married, (he gave me a ring long ago) and I think he just is thoughtless and takes me for granted. Now with so much time going by, and nothing happening I wonder what his intentions really are and whether I should just quit. But then I think we've had good times, travel a lot, we're both in our 70's,we both look pretty good, but while a man can always find somebody, for a woman of my age I think the 'pickings are slim 'as they say. And so I keep thinking maybe I should just be satisfied with what I've got or I might not have anything at all! I try not to show it but I am very depressed. What do you think?"
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ROZ SAYS:
Dear Depressed, I don't think there's an easy answer to this one. It sounds to me like he's insensitive and uncaring, but if you're together as long as you say something is holding you together. I guess you have to decide how much good there is in the relationship and the level of honesty there is. It's easy to say to quit and there'll be your prince charming coming right round the corner but that most likely wont be the case. And it may be that he really loves you, and that's why he's there, and, yes, he just takes you for granted and thinks everything he does is ok! You just have to decide. I'm sorry I'm not being much help but I do send you good wishes for the New Year and that whatever you decide will bring you happiness! P.S.I think if I were in that position I'd stick with him!
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Depressed, Cheer up, it doesn't take much to become emotionally distraught around the holidays. You have a long-term mostly productive relationship that has provided both of you with many hours of companionship. Unfortunately, you didn't experience your New Year's Eve perfect moment. He seems obviously insensitive and is taking you for granted but it's better than being alone. I would count your blessings and if you like to gamble and are emotionally equipped keep your eyes open to a possible new opportunity or simply voice your disappointment in his actions and look to the future for better times.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I've run out of money and I never thought that in what should be the golden days of my life I'd be in this position. Everybody thinks I'm rich and just a penny pincher, cheap, stingy. Nobody believes I really can't afford to do some of the things now everybody I know takes for granted. A combination of my bad judgment and general downturn in business did this to me. I'm trying my best to pull out and buck up but its tough. The woman I'm with hasn't said anything about how little we do now but I feel it's only a matter of time she'll want to move on, and I love her, I really do. In the past I've helped her when she was up against it, but I cant now and I know she has no money of her own. Just a piece of property her late husband left her. No children. She's in her 50's. I'm 10 years older. But she looks and acts even younger than she is. I just feel like a loser and I've always been a winner. It's a mess. At this stage in my life I cant take a job at a fast food restaurant even if they would hire me. I just started to get social security but its not enough to really get along on it. I don't want to lose her. She is my life! I'll do whatever it takes."
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ROZ SAYS:
Dear Whatever, Well, it sounds to me like the only thing that might help is to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk. You don't say what you've done for a living but I take it its been some sort of entrepreneurial work, not a 9 to 5 job if everybody thinks you're so rich. So, think about what kind of thing you and she could cook up together to do that could bring in some money, an idea you could develop and work on together, maybe online. Today many people are working from home on their computers, selling services, products, and the skies the limit. You never know how exciting something like that could turn out to be for you both once you get started. Just think of some mutual interest and go on from there. Use your ingenuity. You might surprise yourself and in the process be fun for both of you too! Good luck.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Whatever, It's a common lament of the times and things may turn much worse with the economy, inflation in food & energy prices, etc. If you only have fixed income & savings I would get a financial advisor to help with your priorities and a budget. You must cut back further and two working together as a team makes the most of your pooled resources & skills. Preserving a safe environment, the roof over your head, good nutrition, healthcare & a loving home no matter how modest are your goals. Hopefully, money has nothing to do with your woman's commitment to you and the relationship. Don't give up, stay positive, and keep an open mind. I really do believe that when one door closes a new window opens to an even brighter future. You are in a tuff position, stay positive, have a little faith, open up to your best friend. She may have some of the answers.
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