Dating Advice: ASK DAVID & ROZ
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Welcome to dating advice from David & Roz.
We've been writing this dating advice column for a while now and we're getting great feedback about how its helping people.
So keep those dating questions coming and we'll keep giving you the advice you need to succeed in love.
Who are we?
Well David is an attractive bachelor, restaurateur, active, athletic, 55 and very wise in the way of the dating world.
Roz, a widow of a certain age, a business woman, racehorse owner and breeder who is well-traveled, interested and interesting is also here to give you a hand.
Collectively we've been dating for over 100 years!
We will answer any dating question you have, so send it in.
Use the form at the bottom of the page to email us whatever you have on your mind.
So withoput further ado, here are the latest and greatest of the questions we've received.
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Dear David and Roz,
"The man I‘m with is very controlling. He‘s 65, I‘m 10 years younger. We work together in a small business where he relies on me for my expertise and I rely on him for the money. My problem arises from the fact that he holds that over me like a sword that he pays for everything. Everything that comes in goes into one account that he handles and I worry that if we have a split up I will come out penniless and I actually am entitled to 50% because its my work that brings in the money. With our differences I feel it's inevitable that at some point we will break up. Worse, we live together and sleep in the same bed! I don't know what to do. Help me please."
- I'm Unhappy
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Unhappy, What you describe certainly doesn't sound like fun, and I don't hear the word ‘love‘ either, so obviously it's a mutual use that keeps the two of you together. I think in the long run as long as you can prove your 50% participation, and assets of the business are in both names I would think you're protected to some degree if it comes to a split up. But don't go by me, I'm not a lawyer. And I think you need one to advise you just in case. I would do that right away. Quietly. You know what they say let sleeping dogs lie. Good luck.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Unhappy, This is an excellent question. You have a legitimate concern. Capital providers are notorious for devaluating the work and creative contribution of retained professionals as well as working partners. So first, I would work out a simple legal contract that defines both of your responsibilities and equity position within the business. If you keep it all on a business footing this should improve your peace of mind, self-esteem & possibly even your personal relationship. However, if your life - business partner resists, it points to just how insecure he is. If he refuses to take you seriously I would find an impartial business advisor to assist in the drafting of a fair agreement that addresses all the business issues. Next, consider the merits of scheduling time with a marriage counselor to keep the relationship vital & balanced Good luck, I hope you will find your man has both the integrity and interest to grow your relationship.
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Dear David and Roz,
"I'm in the kind of dilemma I think a lot of men would be happy to be in. I have two beautiful women in love with me. (I‘m kind of a nice guy so can understand that too) I didn't intend it that way, it just happened. I was seeing one, a woman in her late 50's, and blonde and lively I love being with. We'd do adventurous things like hiking, skating, traveling to exotic places. Great fun. I retired early, I'm 62 and comfortable so can do these things. I have money. Then she told me a girl friend of hers had just divorced her husband and asked could she come cross-country and live with us for a while till she got settled. We have a very big old house and plenty of room so I said ‘Why not?' So the woman came, and I must say, what a fantastic dame! The three of us started doing everything together. She's a great cook and full of funny stories and has long dark hair and blue eyes. A stunner. I found myself attracted to her, and one day we were standing close, I was helping her in the kitchen, we were giving a party that night & we kissed. I felt like a dog - but at the same time it felt good, I was excited. And so it continued. This deception now is killing me because my lady doesn't guess a thing and her friend and I are sneaking around like in dark corners. She's attracted to me too. What a mess! I know I have to stop this- but how? That is the question. Thanks."
- I Think
ROZ SAYS:
Dear Mixed-Up Guy, Well, I guess this story of yours proves men don't always think with their heads! In my opinion the first thing to do and fast, is to get this new friend out of your house into her own place and as far away as possible! Then you and your first love go somewhere for an extended stay to re-establish your only for each other connection. From the way you talk you really want it that way but have been overcome by the proximity of this friend and her desirable attributes. I think if you find her so attractive other men will too. Maybe before you leave on your extended journey introduce her to some terrific guy who will succumb to her charms like you did and then you will have got it made. And down the line, once separated, when you all get together again some day hence, you can forget it ever happened, nobody the wiser, and be actual just friends! Have a Happy New Year.
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DAVID SAYS:
Dear Beta Male, It seems you are weak & missing key components of an established personal value system such as integrity, loyalty, etc. There are women everywhere, one more attractive than the next and all with lots to give. This is something that alpha males learn at a young age. So your voiced quandary points to the fact that you may be something less. It's a ridiculous situation that you find yourself in. It's very simple, be honest, declare yourself single and move on or make a decision.
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